


The Cellist

by IKillShipsNotPeople



Series: Unconnected Clint Coulson Ficsssssssssssssss [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Be Nice to Clint Barton, Because He's Not As Perfect As Everyone Thinks He Is, But He Saves Punching for when He's Angry, Clint Barton Feels, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Clint Barton Punches Things When He's Angry, Dad Jokes, Fake/Pretend Relationship, He Shoots When He's Sad, M/M, Minor Hating on Tony Stark, Need Brains, No matter what he thinks, Or Happy, These Idiots, Tony Stark Is Not Helping, Tony Stark Stirs Up Trouble, not Phlint, or a lot of things, these dumbasses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:08:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24739789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IKillShipsNotPeople/pseuds/IKillShipsNotPeople
Summary: Phil Coulson sees his husband, the man he married whaling on a punching bag while muttering to himself. If he had time to get closer, he might have noticed the words “Stark”, and “a cellist”, and “bow” being muttered underneath Clint’s breath. But he doesn't because the second Phil stepped into the room, Clint’s head snaps up.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Phil Coulson/Audrey Nathan, Phil Coulson/The Cellist
Series: Unconnected Clint Coulson Ficsssssssssssssss [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1791658
Comments: 1
Kudos: 90





	The Cellist

It started when Phil Coulson came home from work one day and heard his husband punching things. Which was not a good sign.

Generally, if Clint is in a destructive mood, he tended to shoot things. Or spar with another person. But Phil really hopes he wasn’t sparing with another person in their apartment. And when he is punching things, he needed the feel of destruction under his hands. So: bad sign.

He doesn't rush to the mini-gym that they set up in their apartment, because he’s Phil Coulson and he doesn’t _rush_ , but his pace might be quicker than before, as exits a SHIELD minivan and walks up the steps. To be fair, someone _is_ punching things.

When he gets there, he sees his husband, the man he married whaling on a punching bag while muttering to himself. If he had time to get closer, he might have noticed the words “Stark”, and “a cellist”, and “bow” being muttered underneath Clint’s breath. But he doesn't because the second Phil stepped into the room, Clint’s head snaps up.

He stalks across the room and shoves Phil into a wall.

“What kind of time is this?” asks Phil. “Because you know as well as I do that there are some good shoves into a wall and some bad ones.”

“This isn’t either. I’m not compromised, and I’m not horny.”

“Just because you’re uncompromised doesn’t mean this isn’t a bad shove,” says Phil reasonably, still with his back to the wall. On the one hand, he doesn’t really feel like moving, not if Clint doesn't feel safe. On the other hand… no there isn’t another hand, not until Clint reveals if he’s compromised or not.

“Listen, I talked to Stark. I get it. You have a cellist, whatever the fuck that means. But why didn’t you just tell me?” asks Clint. “Oh wait, no, I don’t get it. Who the fuck is this cellist? And why the fuck does Stark know about her? Why the fuck don't I know about her? And-”

Phil raises a hand. It isn't a field gesture, so he doesn't have any problem using it here, not when he needs Clint to stop talking if he wants to listen.

“Yeah, I have a cellist,” says Phil. Clint tenses up even more. “Silly, you don’t even know what I mean.”

“I can assume.” Clint bites out the words, his eyes still wild. Phil only feels safe being pinned to the wall because he knew that it was a defense mechanism for Clint.

“Are you going to punch me if I make the dad joke?” asks Phil, grinning a bit. “You know what happens when you assume. You make an _ass_ out of yo _u_ and _me_.”

“What?” asks Clint. Phil’s heart breaks a little bit, as it always does when he was reminded of Clint’s shitty past. Phil's own dad had died when he was eight, but he was still able to learn dad jokes before then. Assume was one of the ones he’s picked up from Jasper, he did have the same humor as Phil, but not as refined as Phil liked to think he was.

“Sorry, bad joke,” he says, and winces internally as he realizes it involved spelling, which is as touchy a subject as parentage. “Back to the cellist.”

Clint growls a little, and Phil can't repress a shiver. Even though it was Clint, he was used to that sound in… other contexts. Mostly when he was tied up. And probably being interrogated. Clint steps back a little.

“Sorry, sorry,” says Clint, and he lets Phil off of the wall, and Phil wouldn't _say_ he is relieved, but he is relieved. It hasn't been long since Loki, only three short months of PT and nobody believing him about TAHITI and teaching Clint how to do the whole _self worth_ thing again. Which, obviously, is necessary here.

“It’s okay, Clint,” says Phil. “How bout you just tell me what happened and I’ll fill in the blanks.”

“I-- okay,” says Clint. He sucks in a wobbly breath, and while Phil doesn't notice any tear tracks down his face, he doesn't know how good he is at recognizing them, anymore. “I was talking to Stark.”

“That’s never a good way to start a story,” says Phil, smiling a little at Clint. He’s disproportionately relieved when he laughs, but he thinks they both needed a joke, and Stark can definitely take it- and more- if Phil finds out he was the perpetrator of this whole mess.

“I was talking to Stark,” starts Clint again, and his voice sounds a little bit stronger. “And he basically asked me if I played any instruments, and I was confused-”

_Instruments? “Natasha’s better with torture instruments.”_

_“What?” asked Stark, rather shocked for someone who'd been tortured. “What? No. I mean like musical instruments. Ya know, flute, piano, chello?”_

_“Yeah sure,” he said. “But no, I don’t.”_

_“Interesting,” said Stark. Clint could hear him doing his think where he tried to unravel a problem in his head, but he didn’t much care._

_“What’s interesting?” he asked sharply. He doesn’t move from where he’s sitting in the tower’s kitchen, doesn’t get up or anything, but he tenses in the way that says_ I can kill you in at least four ways _, because Nat’s not the only who gets to use that._

_“Well, it’s just that,” started Stark before trailing off. “You and Agent Agent are dating, but when he was talking to Pep he mentioned a cellist, so I assumed that was you, but if that’s not you then who is the cellist?”_

_“I don’t know,” said Clint. “And I don’t like not knowing.”_

_“Was that a doctor who reference?” asked Stark. He rolled his eyes. “No, of course not, you’re a Dog Cops heathen.”_

_Clint didn’t respond, he just bolted out of there._

“And you know what I did?” asks Clint. Phil doesn't move much throughout the explanation, but now he shakes his head. “I went outside and I googled what a cellist was.”

His voice shakes, and it breaks on the second to last work. Phil doesn't want to let Clint know how much that affected him, but he grabs Clint around the middle and pulls him in for a long hug, only for Clint to wiggle out of his arms.

“I just…” he starts. “Not now, not until I figure out if you’ve just got a thing for bows or if it’s something else.”

“You’re jealous of Audrey?” asks Phil incredulously. Clint barks out a laugh that says _of course_. “Clint Barton, I am absolutely committed to you, and I have been since the day you showed up in my office asking about pens to fill out your AAR.”

Clint barks out another laugh, but it feels freer. Calmer maybe. His voice doesn't shake as he asks, “who’s Audrey?”

“She’s a civilian whose life I saved a while ago. She plays the cello, and she’s in an orchestra. Maybe… a year or two ago, I asked her if she would mind meeting Pepper, Pepper Potts, to help Stark’s company move into Portland,” says Phil. Clint hangs onto his words, so Phil thinks out the next bit. “I was trying to get my mind of the sniper that was consuming all of my thoughts, and when Pepper assumed that she was my girlfriend, neither of us corrected her. I think Audrey had a _thanks for saving my life_ crush on me, not that I have any experience with that…”

Clint laughs again. Phil smiles at the sound.

They both remember the day when Natasha shoved them at each other saying “I’m sick of you both whining about how the other is out of your league. Go date or whatever.” That led to a whole conversation about how both of them assumed that the other was too good for them. Clint confessed that he knew about Phil’s crush but didn’t want to say anything, and Phil confessed that he had no idea about Clint’s crush.

They got dinner the next Sunday, and things had been going strong from then on.

“I’d like to meet her,” says Clint. Phil frowned a little bit.

“Why?”

“She’s your friend,” says Clint. It _is_ true that Clint has met all of Phil’s friends, the ones that he didn’t already know, including the ones that Phil might have dated, in another universe. Still, this feels different.

“I guess so,” says Phil. “But there’s something I have to do first.”

“What’s that?”

“Taze Stark,” says Phil. Clint laughs.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not actually a Whovian, but I figure it's more in character for Stark to be a Whovian then a Sherlockian, even though the line is in both.
> 
> Please comment and kudos, I crave validation.


End file.
